


Mortal Angels

by thenotwriter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-08
Updated: 2013-01-08
Packaged: 2017-11-24 05:32:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/630976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenotwriter/pseuds/thenotwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Season 5-ish. In a lake in California, Castiel tries to cope with the fact his brothers and sisters are dead. Having Dean Winchester for a friend helps a lot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mortal Angels

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lilithrain](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Lilithrain).



> **Beta:** Kodamasama  
>  **Genre and/or Pairing:** Romance, angst. Dean/Castiel, possible pre-slash Sam/Gabriel?  
>  **Disclaimer:** These characters do not belong to me. I am making no profit from this fanfiction.  
>  **Spoilers:** Up to season 5.  
>  **Prompt:** "Two angels in the pit of despair. It's not much fun when you're among the very few angels left in the world. Cue Winchesters being awesome with their respective angels." 
> 
> **Summary:** _Season 5-ish. In a lake in California, Castiel tries to cope with the fact his brothers and sisters are dead. Having Dean Winchester for a friend helps a lot._

*º*º*

_Author's note: I believe the recipient probably meant for this to take place in the latest seasons, but I decided to make it season 5-ish because of too many AU-ish elements I included (Gabriel coming back to life, etc.)  
I hope you enjoy this, Lilithrain! _

*º*º*

Years back - a blink of an eye, really – Castiel used to think lakes and trees and rocks were his Father's most beautiful creations. He'd contemplate these wonders in silence, watching unmoving as the light changed the shades of blue and green as the day passed.

He wonders if his time with the humans has made him impatient, for he can barely stand there for half an hour before he feels the need to sit down.

Gabriel throws a pebble in the still water. The lake is in California. Castiel didn't mean to come here, but his brother's Grace was calling for him – like a mayday call, the humans would say – and Castiel could not ignore it.

Now he hardly thinks he can fly someplace else if he tried.

"Gotta say, bro, it's good to be alive. Even though, you know, everything… and all…" Gabriel finishes rather awkwardly. 'Everything and all' could not possibly describe the magnitude of war.

Castiel had only enough time to save Samuel Winchester before he was summoned.

The angels fought relentlessly against the creatures crawling up the Pit after its master had been defeated. In thousands they came, fighting each other as well as the angels for the position of King.

For years there was war, his brothers and sisters determined to stop the demons from reaching the human plane of existence. Castiel could hear in the back of his mind the Winchesters praying and pleading but was powerless to answer. When he was finally back, the hunters were upset that he had spent months without sending news, not knowing it had been years in Hell for the angel, nearly a decade.

Sometimes Castiel has to remind himself that they won, even though only a few living angels remain. Loneliness and death. This is 'victory'. 

"Do you think they are _all_ dead?" Gabriel muses.

"Don't ask me that."

It hurts to be around this angel. Their ways of dealing with grief are too different, and Castiel finds himself wishing to be with someone who would not talk.

Gabriel dangles his legs off the edge of their rock, moving them from side to side. It reminds him of children and that Dean Winchester too has probably sat on rocks with his brother before.

"It was always there, you know?" Gabriel continues, unaware or uncaring of his brother's wish for silence. "I had this notion that I could go back… eventually."

This he can relate to. Heaven was home, and home was always inside an angel's heart - he just had to reach out to it. He feels the connection is gone now.

"Brought me back." The archangel shrugs, lying back on his elbows. "Would it _kill_ Him to bring the others back too?"

"Please stop talking, Gabriel."

He doesn't want to think about God's decisions anymore – it is pointless and frustrating. All he wants is peace and silence and the presence of his brothers and sisters.

And most of all, Castiel thinks, he misses Dean Winchester.

They say nothing else for sometime. The sun makes its descent behind the trees when they hear the familiar noise of the Impala.

They can't hide their astonishment. "How did they find us?"

"You idiot-" Gabriel touches his palm to his forehand, an act many humans show when particularly irritated. "They can track your cell phone."

The angel picks up from a pocket the device he was given and studies it carefully. The idea that he was being searched for somehow seems appealing to him. Like someone cared enough about his absence and wanted his company again.

They park the Impala nearby, and the Winchesters come out looking casual as always. Gabriel gets up rather noisily and makes his way to the brothers.

As Dean comes to sit by his side, Castiel can see his brother leaning on the car and chatting lazily with Sam.

Dean gives him a nudge with his leg. "How you holding up?"

After a moment's consideration, he says, "Your breath doesn't smell of alcohol." 

By the way Dean looks away from him and clears his throat, Castiel can gather he has once again said something the hunter finds awkward. "Yeah, I'm slowing down on the booze. Health and all-"

Castiel remembers commenting on Dean's foul breath before and wonders if his opinion weighed at all on the hunter's decision.

"Dude…" Dean blinks at him. "Did you just evade a question?"

It's Castiel's turn to look away.

"I can't b-" He laughs and pushes his shoulder lightly. The angel wants to comment on all the physical attention Dean has being giving him lately, but is afraid it might make it stop. "Don't you get 'human' on me now."

"I'm afraid I'm not much of an angel as it is."

The expression on his face is not pity, exactly. Castiel thinks is sadness. Dean feels sadness for him. "Can't get back?"

"Heaven is closed to me," he explains patiently. "But Gabriel thinks we'll go to the human part of it when we die."

His choice of words did not go unnoticed. "You're mortal now?"

"Mortal and feeble." The sunlight begins to fade on the horizon, and Castiel wonders what is like to die. "Yet I can still feel my wings."

Dean considers this for a minute before putting his hands on the angel's back, right between his shoulder blades. Castiel looks questioningly at him.

"They seem pretty strong to me," the hunter comments, patting his back.

Castiel furrows his eyebrows. "You cannot feel them."

"Sure I can."

"I don't believe so."

Tugging his nose with two fingers, Dean pushes his face only two inches from his own. "You calling me a liar?"

"… No."

"I think you're calling me a liar," Dean accuses him, amused and fond.

"No, I'm not."

"Then why are you saying I can't feel them?"

"I'm not. I'm sorry."

"Good." Dean finally bursts out laughing. "Give me a kiss and we can forget about it."

Castiel leans in and shapes his lips like he was taught some time ago. He connects with the side of the hunter's mouth, but Dean seems pleased enough and even smiles.

It occurs to him that Dean was not at all offended and only wanted to cheer him up by 'pulling his leg'. "Thank you. I enjoy when we kiss."

Dean bumps their shoulders together and smiles. He seems to be smiling more often lately. Since they first started kissing, if the angel's memory is correct.

"You don't have to wait for me to ask, you know," Dean tells him, gazing at the colors of dusk above them. "You can just do it; I don't mind."

Castiel hears their brothers talking behind them, both leaning on the car like they haven't a care in the world. _I want to feel like that_ , the angel thinks as he comes closer, Dean immediately turning his head to meet him. They join properly this time, his friend's lips moving pleasantly against his own. When they part, Dean sighs – content, Castiel believes – and starts counting his eyelashes.

"'Mortal Angel'. Sounds like a shitty romance for women," he says, bumping their foreheads together and pulling away so quickly the angel is unsure it even happened. "You're gonna be okay, Cas."

"Am I?" he asks. Jimmy's voice – _Castiel's_ voice now - sounds odd to him. "I feel overwhelmed. There is pressure in me, and it's trying to explode, to come to the surface." He tries to think of something else to say, words that will better explain it, but he's empty. "I don't know what this is."

Sighing, Dean scratches his head. "Cas... I think you want to cry."

"Cry," he tries the word. Yes, that could be it. "How do I cry?"

"I don't know." Sounding frustrated now, the hunter looks behind him as if expecting help. None comes, and his eyes rest on Castiel's cheeks. "You just let go, I guess."

To let go. Thinking of his brothers, Castiel can feel the first drop of water running down his cheek. "I see." He feels like a glass of water, overflowing and spilling its contents all around it. "How can you stand it?"

"It stops when you calm down, or fall asleep, or someone comes in..." Dean shrugs and looks at the darkening horizon, not even acknowledging his tears. Castiel forgot some humans – and this one in particular – find crying to be a weakness, something embarrassing to behold. "Sometimes you just think of something good, and it makes it better."

"Like what?"

He shrugs again. "You think about the people who are still alive."

Castiel wipes away the water with a sleeve, the evidence of his humanity. "I'm glad you're alive, Dean," Castiel says sincerely. He expects the hunter to look away again, or shrug, or make another gesture to show he doesn't care, but Dean does none of these things.

He rests a hand on the angel's shoulder and says, "Thanks." And then they are kissing again, Castiel barely having time to register what's happening before hands are holding his face and lips are taking his own. They have never kissed like this, with hands and intensity and wet lips, but Castiel doesn't want to pull away to ask what's changed.

If crying had felt overwhelming, he can't describe what this is. Dean's mouth is experienced and demanding, molding him, shaping him, knowing how to please him without Castiel even knowing himself. It gives him no option but to part his lips and make their connection even deeper.

The intimacy of Dean's tongue in his mouth is frightening and thrilling, touching places he hadn't realized were there. Tasting and caressing, Dean wordlessly asks him to touch him as well. Castiel doesn't know who moans when his tongue shyly curls up with the hunter's.

To be cherished probably feels like this, Castiel figures.

"Listen," Dean manages to whisper between kisses. "Listen." He firmly holds the angel's face in place, even though it was him who couldn’t stop leaning in for more. "You can stay with us, okay? Don't go anywhere again."

Dean is never one for words when it comes to them. Yet there is something about him saying this, spelling it out for him, that Castiel decides he adores. He needed to hear this. "I wasn't planning to." Not all the Graces of his brothers and sisters connected with his felt quite like the intimacy of Dean Winchester kissing him like Castiel meant the world to him.

"How long were you really gone?"

The question throws him off guard. His blood is racing too fast, and his skin tingles where Dean had touched him. "Why are you asking this now?"

"'Cause I know how it works down there," he reminds the angel.

Maybe it's the way Dean says it - defeated and sad - that suddenly stirs in Castiel the will to protect him from something he cannot change. "It doesn't matter now. It's over."

And it is. Dean's warm breath on his cheek is real and reminds him he feels more alive when he's around this man than he ever felt as a full angel.

"Are you girls done gossiping?" Gabriel shouts from the car. "I need a ride to a McDonalds or something." He searches his pockets inside out. "And money too. And a fake ID, _s'il vous plait._ "

Castiel doesn't want to go – and he suspects, neither does Dean – but he can't find anything to say that will keep them on their rock any longer. They silently get up and walk to the car. Sam moves the things in the backseat to accommodate the newcomers. "I thought you could puff money into existence," Sam comments.

"Still can. Just think it's better to conserve my energy now that I'm _a little bit_ less awesome than before."

Dean rushes Castiel into the passenger seat, leaving Sam with no option but to ride in the back with a complaining Gabriel. "We can rent you a room."

Gabriel snorts. "You better. I don't want to spend the night with my brother playing kissing games with a human on the other bed."

Sam has the grace to look uncomfortable as Dean does his best to pretend the backseat of his car doesn't exist.

*º*º*

_Secret Lover Exchange: always fun! Leave a comment to make me happy, pretty please!_


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